Iowa was the biggest election in the history of mankind until it happened and then we found found out that the results really didn't matter at all. And we were off to New Hampshire. It didn't even matter who really won the Iowa Caucuses because they couldn't figure it out; though we were told the reason that they were restricting half the electorate from voting was to preserve the sanctity of the ballot.
The Republicans continued to socialize the front runner status. As Andy Warhol once said "Everyone would lead the Republican presidential field in 2011-2012 for fifteen minutes. And with it we bid adieu to old friend 999 and crazy lady.
Ron Paul refused to fight the next war, without the authorization of the Constitution, and because of that he is literally insane. Romney wants to fight the next war ten minutes after he's nominated, Gingrich will jump the gun and invade tomorrow before even New Hampshire, and Santorum will go to war before it's conception.
By the end of the week Mitt Inc. - the walking talking Frankenstein - left town in a commanding position. His only challengers are two Republican fur ball that have been coughed back up from the 1990s, when income inequality spiked through the roof. They have returned to pick up the mantels of change and the alternative candidate.
Quick give him Super Pac money before he hurts someone
Ron Paul's racial policy appears to go back to the founders. Though personally Paul was against slavery it really wasn't the government place to restrict the slave owner's liberties of taking their slaves away. Everything government touches is awful and it is only the slave owner's liberties that can preserve our rights.
It is great Doctor Paul has three signers of this document behind him. The Problem is that they are all slave owners by golly.
Iran needs to stop threatening the US in a region of the world so close to our interest. Even the tension took a step forward when US warships rescued 13 Iranians kidnapped by Somali pirates. This is our media leaves us with the impression that the the Iranian people will be eternally grateful to the Americans for even if they force us to flatten their cities and wipe out scores of their civilians.
Fox covered the rise in child prostitution in major American cities, with a sexy little boot in a strip club for the opening. Strippers did a good thirty second lap dance, where you can easily make out their still meagerly clothed and grinding torsoes though to be tasteful they never shows their faces. Then they cut away to a psychiatrist who mumbles something profound about something, but we soon get back to one last shot of the stripping. The anchor host then announces that we're getting this problem under control but we the audience are left reassured that we'll probably be back to the strip club next week for some more stock footage. While at least it answers the question of where all the Fox camera men are hanging out.
Clips of Iowans voting by paper were too boring for cable television. CNN decided they needed little techno avatars declaring for a candidate, like fancy technology can make up for the fact that they are actually saying nothing.
Actual low tech voting
High tech bullshit
In New Hampshire why are three smaller minded people kicking the crap out of each other while the corporately funded Teflon candidate skates by. I think some of them hope for a job once this charade is over.
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